Something Old, New, Borrowed, Murdered?
by Papergirl
Summary: Shawn and Juliet go undercover as an engaged couple to help catch a killer wedding planner... but things don't go according to plan. Although this has taken a turn I wasn't expecting, never fear - Shules will prevail!
1. Chapter 1

Title: Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something... Murdered?

Disclaimer: Not mine. Not enough close. Just having some fun over here.

Spoilers** -** Brief mentioning of things from the following episodes: American Duos, Forget Me Not, Black & Tan: A Crime of Fashion, Rob-a-bye Baby.

Just a short little teaser to entice you... and to distract me while I wait for my season 2 dvds to be delivered and the 3rd season to start. Also, limits the length of the story title... very sad.

* * *

Shawn was bouncing around with far more energy than Gus thought one routine phone call from the Chief of Police could ever warrant. 'Pun intended,' Gus added thoughtfully to himself.

"I take it we have a case?" Gus asked casually.

Shawn paused momentarily in his bouncing to regard Gus before continuing his bizarre hopping dance.

"The Chief," he said, barely containing his excitement. "Wants us," he continued with dramatic, well-timed pauses between his words. "To go _undercover_!" he yelped in glee at the revelation, looking expectantly at Gus. Shawn's eyebrows furrowed in confusion when Gus's stoic expression failed to turn to one of excitement.

"What's the case?" Gus asked simply.

"What's the case?" Shawn repeated incredulously. "What's the ca- does it matter? We get to go _undercover._ You know, code names and wigs and synchronized watches!"

Gus rolled his eyes at Shawn's exuberance. "Shawn, I hate to break it to you, but we've been undercover. Remember 'American Duos'? Or when you made me deliver a baby warthog? What about my birthday, when we were Black and Tan? Or the time you claimed we were lost hikers who drank our own urine?" Gus took a breath and cocked his head to the side. "Come to think of it, Shawn, we're undercover _all the time_. Especially you, Mr. Psychic."

Shawn was undeterred.

"This is different," he insisted, grabbing the keys to the Psychmobile from the corner of Gus's desk.

"How? How is this different?" Gus demanded.

Shawn met his skeptic gaze with a broad grin.

"Because this time I get to marry Juliet!" Shawn practically shouted in glee before bounding out of the office.

Gus stared after him for a moment. Once he recovered from the surprise, he stood. "Shawn!" he yelled, though Shawn was no doubt already in the car. "That's not different at all! You've already been married to Juliet!" Gus grabbed his sample case from next to his desk -- though it looked like finishing today's route wasn't going to happen, as usual -- and hurried out the door after his friend. "Shawn!" he yelled. "Remember the nannies?"


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for your patience! Here's the next bit - I know it ends a little abruptly but the next installment is on the way. Also, I apologize in advance for the twist this takes - I honestly didn't see it coming.

Minor spoilers: There's Something About Mira & Rob-a-Bye Baby

* * *

Despite Shawn chattering almost nonstop for the entirety of their journey from the office to the station, Gus still knew nothing of the case by the time they pulled into their usual parking spot.

Shawn was still bouncing as they walked inside, giddily high on the prospect of another fake marriage to his "one true love."

The Chief, Lassiter, and Juliet were already seated in the Chief's office, were actually mid-conversation when Shawn burst through the doorway a good ten-steps ahead of his partner.

"Ahh!" he chirped happily in a poor imitation of Pepe La Pew. "There she is. My beloved betrothed."

As expected, all eyes turned to Shawn, sporting the usual mix of confusion, agitation, and bemusement.

After taking a necessary moment to absorb the psychic's latest outburst, Chief Vick said, "Mr. Spencer, I'm afraid there's been some confusion."

Shawn looked at her, ecstatic face momentarily frozen. "We don't get to go undercover?" he asked, voice wavering as if he were eight and Chief Vick were forbidding him to play outside. "I don't get to marry Jules?"

Chief Vick tried to hide her smile. It was obvious to everyone with half a brain that the psychic was infatuated, maybe even genuinely in love with, the junior detective. But there was no way to sugar-coat it for him. "You're going undercover all right, but it's Mr. Guster that'll be engaged to Detective O'Hara."

Not one of them had ever seen Shawn's face fall so far so fast.

Gus beamed happily. He still didn't know what the case was or why he'd have to pretend to marry Juliet, but he was sure this was going to teach Shawn a lesson. What lesson exactly was also unclear to Gus.

"What does he have that I don't have?" Shawn jokingly demanded, not of the Chief but of Juliet. "I know, I know, the Super Smeller and a 401(k), but doesn't being psychic count for anything anymore?"

Juliet was more than a little flattered by Shawn's enthusiasm at the prospect of merely pretending to marry her, but since she had yet to have her morning coffee she wasn't in the mood for his usual flirting games.

"Shawn," Juliet spoke up, hoping to move the briefing along. "We've already been pretend married, and remember little pretend Millicent? If you were to be my fiancé now, we would be taking steps backwards in our fake undercover life together."

Her reasoning was bizarre, borderline ridiculous, and Shawn readily accepted it. He made a face at Gus, one step from sticking out his tongue and sing-songing, "nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah." Gus made a face back, but luckily for all involved the Chief intervened before the situation could escalate.

"Mr. Spencer, Mr. Guster," Chief Vick announced in that commanding, no-nonsense tone of hers. "Detective O'Hara and Mr. Guster will be going undercover as an engaged couple. We need them to hire a wedding planner-"

"Ooh, ooh!" Shawn's hand shot up and wiggled around. "I'll do it! I planned a wedding once in Tallahassee. I'm an ordained minister, too, so it's a package deal. I believe," his eyes looked off as he searched his memory. "I believe the couple is still together."

"They need to hire a _specific_ planner, Spencer," growled Lassiter with his usual charm. "What do you think this is?"

Shawn dutifully opened his mouth to reply, but Lassiter thought better and disgustedly tossed a dismissive hand in the air. "Never mind. I don't want to hear it."

Gus cleared his throat. "Chief," he said gently. "I'm glad to offer my services, as always, but I still have no idea why I'm going undercover or what we'll be doing."

Chief Vick sighed.

"We've been trying to tell you," she said with a pointed look in Shawn's direction. Shawn smiled innocently and gestured for her to continue.

"As I was saying," Vick continued, her eyes still on Shawn before turning to take in everyone. "Over the last few months there have been a handful of unsolved murders we believe have been perpetrated by the same suspect."

"A serial killer," Gus said quietly. Chief Vick nodded.

"There isn't much linking the victims except that they were all mixed race couples about to get married and they all used the same wedding planner."

"Mixed race couples? Are we talking hate crimes?" Shawn asked curiously. Chief Vick shook her head.

"No. At least it doesn't appear that way. The first victim was a black male, the second one a white female, then an Asian female, a black female, and a white male. Every murder has been different - different weapon, different location - and the only constant so far has been the lack of evidence. Hence our getting the two of you involved."

"Right," Shawn clapped his hands together and rubbed them in anticipation. "So we've got Gus and Jules, the happy bait couple. What about Lassie and me? Don't tell me - do we get to plan our wedding, too?"

Shawn shot a teasing look to Lassiter, who clearly was about one and a half seconds from decking the psychic. Luckily for Shawn, Chief Vick spoke up precisely point two seconds before Lassiter could make a fist.

"Detective Lassiter will be O'Hara's brother, and Mr. Spencer, you're going undercover as-"

The ideas raced through Shawn's mind at light speed: an Egyptian carpet salesman, the best-looking florist in town, Batman (he wouldn't even question why they needed the Caped Crusader on the case). Shawn stared expectantly at the Chief, nodding his head and hanging on her every word.

"As?" he prompted eagerly.

"As Mr. Guster's best man."

"Chief, that's..." Shawn let out a breath. "...not undercover. Come on! I need a challenge."

Gus was enjoying the opportunity to torment Shawn as much as possible. "Wouldn't being a goat be enough of a challenge for you?" he teased.

Shawn glared at him while the three cops shared looks of confusion. After a second, Shawn turned to the Chief to plead his case.

"Chief, please let me and Lassiter switch."

"No," Lassiter said emphatically, if for no other reason than to stop Shawn from getting his way.

Chief Vick glanced briefly at Lassiter before turning her attention Shawn's imploring eyes.

"Mr. Spencer, what does it matter?" she asked tiredly. She could already feel the Shawn-sized headache forming in the usual spot just behind her eyes. "We just need you to psychically read the wedding planner and tell us if she is involved."

Shawn was floundering and had no choice but to play his trump card. "Yes, but I don't think I'll be able to have a free psychic reign as a mere friend of the groom," he said, strategically emphasizing "groom." He glanced over at Jules. "Now, as a beloved family member of the bride, well - let's face it, the wedding's all about the bride anyway. Am I right?"

He grinned at his audience who looked more annoyed and bored than agreeable or entertained.

"Fine," Chief Vick said with a wave of her hand. "O'Hara, he's your brother. Lassiter, you're Guster's best man. Now, please, all of you get out of my office. Detectives, you can catch them up to speed."

The four of them stood. Shawn slid an arm around Juliet's shoulders. "Hey there, Sis," he said cheerfully. Juliet shot him a look and he quickly withdrew his arm.

"Now's not the time, Shawn. We have an undercover wedding to plan and a killer to catch," she informed him testily.

"Geez. Undercover Bridezilla," Shawn muttered under his breath. Juliet stopped and spun on her heels.

"What was that… Bro?" she asked with a threatening smile, her tone dripping with false sweetness.

"Nothing," Shawn mumbled, temporarily deflated as he followed them out into the bullpen. Going undercover suddenly didn't seem as appealing anymore.

* * *

Okay, don't worry - there will still be Shules. I promise!


End file.
